Gems From This Week's Episode of "King of the Hill": "Trans-Fascism"

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From the episode Trans-Fascism, which makes fun of both socialists and not (but far more the former than the latter):

HANK: "The last thing Arlen needs is a food ban."
COUNCILWOMAN: "Are you saying are FOR childhood obesity?"
HANK: "No, of course not."
COUNCILMAN: "I'll have you know my son is obese!"
HANK: "Calm down. I'm not saying trans fats are good for you. But banning them isn't going to solve all those problems."
CITIZEN: "Tell that to that guy's poor, pathetic, fat kid!"
HANK: "The government should not be deciding what we have the right to eat. Besides, all sorts of foods can make you sick: rare burgers, raw oysters ... if you ban trans fats, you might as well ban that stuff too."
COUNCIL: "Fantastic idea. Let's ban raw oysters and rare burgers too. All in favor? AYE!"


DALE: "I wish the government would just ban itself!"
BILL: "I'm just glad the government is keeping me safe. Now I can snack my way to a healthier me! ... You don't have to worry about me anymore, Hank. The government is doing that now."


MR. STRICKLAND: "We in the illegal food business!"
HANK: "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
MR. STRICKLAND: "It's a great idea! I'll be just like Joe Kenendy running whiskey during prohibition! Which helped him become the father of a President!"
HANK: "Well I like the sound of that, but you could get in a lot of trouble."
MR. STRICKLAND: "You said the food bans were un-American? What's more American than breaking an unjust law? This is a fight for freedom, Ol' Top!"
HANK: "I'll do it ... for America."


BOBBY: "Donuts were one of my little joys. If the government takes away puppy breath and really good yawns, I'll have nothing left to live for."


HANK: "I'm trying to change the law."
PEGGY: "Of course you are. And good luck with that."


HANK: "What can I get you sir?"
CUSTOMER: "I - I got a choice?"
HANK: "Well, you do here, friend."
CUSTOMER: "Hey, they've got all the banned food in there!"
MR. STRICKLAND: "That's right! Remember to tell your friends about us. Sugarfoot's Express: the food you want, at a price that reflects the risk involved!"


DALE: "I can't take it! I'm dying for a raw oyster! I never liked them before, but now that they're contraband I MUST HAVE THEM!"


BILL: "They banned that food to save us! Think about it, Hank! If they government isn't deciding what we can and can't eat, who will, huh, who?!"


HANK: "Ted? But the food bans were your idea."
TED: "A contradiction on the surface, but unlike many, I have the discipline to enjoy such indulgences."
KAHN: "That's right, Hank Hill, Ted Wassonasong better than you!"
TED: "Perhaps it is education, perhaps breeding. The debate rages on."

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