TV Pundit Conspiracy Uncovered
Some people believe the job of our cable news talk show hosts is to help uncover government conspiracies. Perhaps this is the perfect cover for being a member of one of the most powerful conspiracies in history.
The evidence is undeniable.
DoBBs. OlbermaNN. O'ReiLLy. HaNNity. MaTThews. MaDDow. HuckabEE.
Anything stick out for you there?
CNN also has CampbeLL Brown, LaRRy King, and Anderson COOper. And on Fox News there's also GleNN Beck, Bill HeMMer and Megyn KeLLy, Chris WaLLace, Steve DOOcy, and black-haired-guy-who-is-not-Steve-DOOcy.
You wondered why Fox got rid of Alan Colmes? It had nothing to do with ratings or political views. This also explains why BiLL O'ReiLLy has twice the popularity of any of his colleagues.
Comedians pretending to be real talk show hosts -- like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and David Shuster -- don't follow the sinister pattern and are obviously not a part of the conspiracy. These noble funnymen may be our only hope at salvation. 
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"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt."
Wasn't that the plot of "Man of the Year"?