Miscellaneous: May 2007 Archives

Pudge Is A Bad Man

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Long before the All-Star Voting thing or Jesux, I was in high school and played one of my best pranks ever.

It was my senior year, and the school's literary magazine was accepting submissions. I submitted a few under my own name. Ironically, the point of the ones they accepted was that imagery and symbolism are nonsense, which was a direct assault on most of the works in the magazine. But that wasn't a prank, I just liked those verses, which happened to be from a song I wrote called Images (live performances by my band available at that link).

I decided (in keeping with the aforementioned anti-imagery in Images) to write the worst poem that I could, and submit it. I don't remember exactly how I decided to write it, whether it was free-from or whether I came up with theme first, but the result was pure crap. I submitted it under a pseudonym, and ... it was chosen for the very last page of the literary magazine, which, as you may know, is normally reserved for the best, most poignant, piece.

When I saw it, I was in English class and I laughed out loud and told a friend what happened. One of the editors of the magazine overheard what I said. She probably still hates me to this day, but man, it was funny.

Without further ado, here's the crappy poem I wrote:


closing in, allowed to fall
Night sweeps over the land like the
blanket I pull over my
quavering head.
Things I have done
                I have acted out
haunt my soul
shout my sin like so many
                dropping things
                                on the
sins I have forgotten reform as
debris, falling through the
air-conditioning vent
reminding me
not letting Me

--Randolph Hsilgne slashdot.org

Pudge's song "You're Clueless" is "dedicated to Boo the waterhole sneak, Stacy for telegraphing the vote, and Cassandra for pitching in with Dreamz."

Suvivor Fans Podcast: Fiji Episode 13

Suffolk 'n' Cool 064

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SnC plays Pudge's "Osama Bin Laden, You Ruined My Birthday." They write, "I'm sure that someone will be looking to take offence at this comedy song. Such a rarity on SnC. It just made me giggle - I suspect out of relief that maybe, just maybe we are coming to the end of the obligatory furrowed brows and downcast eyes at the very mention of 11th September. If anyone is or wants to be offended, I would suggest that they are very brave and face it, lots worse things than offence happen at sea. Oh dear, maybe that's offensive too."

Suffolk 'n' Cool 064

Under the Carpet Music #9

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Under the Carpet Music plays "Osama Bin Laden, You Ruined My Birthday" by Pudge.

Under the Carpet Music #9

Multiple Sclerosis Blog plays "You're Clueless" by Pudge.

Multiple Sclerosis Blog 0144 - Get a Cluj

<pudge/*> (pronounced "PudgeGlob") is thousands of posts over many years by Pudge.

"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt."

About this Archive

This page is a archive of entries in the Miscellaneous category from May 2007.

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Miscellaneous: June 2007 is the next archive.

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