Christine, Christine, Christine

"Christine, Christine, Christine" is a love song about Washington's Governor, Christine Gregoire. You can download the MP3 audio of the song or watch the video:

The song is not autobiographical. It is sung from the perspective of someone who -- unlike myself -- is perfectly pleased to have a governor who will not only care for his every need, but also make all of his everyday decisions for him. He doesn't have to think for himself, because Christine is his Everything.

The song is exactly four minutes long, one minute for each year she will have been in office when she leaves.

Feel free to link to this song or video as you wish. If you wish to use the music for anything else, just ask me.

Lyrics below, including footnotes for non-Washingtonians who may not understand the issues mentioned in the song. And if you want to help defeat Governor Gregoire, support Dino Rossi.

Chorus:
Alone I can't do anything
I don't know what I'll do
Christine, you are my everything
It's all up to you
Christine, Christine, Christine


Christine, I don't have much
But what I have is yours
You'll use it better than I would
I'm totally assured

You know me better than I do
You know just what I need
If it were left up to me I'd be
Driven by pure greed


Chorus


I quit my job last week, Christine
I know I'll be OK
You'll keep me fed and clothed, my dear
Drive all my fears away

You buy me much more every year
You've got the cash to spend
Next year you'll run out
But you can worry 'bout it then[1]


Chorus


I have no reason to doubt you
I have no questions to ask
What you tell me adds up nicely
Because you taught me with New Math[2]


Protect me from myself, Christine
Don't let me drive a car
Clog up the roads and force me
To take trains to get too far[3]

Don't let me gamble all I have
Unless it's where you choose[4]
Don't let me smoke[5]
Don't let me not give your campaign my dues[6]


Chorus

Footnotes:

[1] Governor Gregoire and the Democratic legislature have increased the state budget billions of dollars (33 percent) in only four years, asserting that all of this spending is for the citizens, and have left us -- the citizens -- with billions in deficits over the next couple of years that they have no plans to deal with, except to raise taxes (despite Gregoire's assurances earlier in her term that this is precisely what she wanted to avoid).

[2] "New Math" emphasizes understanding concepts instead of the ability to actually solve math problems, and many schoolchildren never even learn basics like long division.

[3] With Governor Gregoire in office, congestion has worsened in Washington, with no signs of significant improvement overall, while the Democrats have been steadily pushing mass transit that few people want and even fewer are willing to use.

[4] Governor Gregoire has opposed expanding gambling to non-tribal businesses, and has supported restrictions on Internet gambling, but has supported expansion of gambling in tribal businesses.

[5] Governor Gregoire and the Democrats have supported making smoking illegal in all public establishments.

[6] Governor Gregoire and the Democrats removed the law -- just before the Supreme Court of the United States could uphold that law -- that forbade the teacher's union, the Washington Education Association, from taking nonmember dues and using them for partisan political purposes (almost exclusively in support of Democratic candidates and causes).

In other words, Gregoire signed a law to the literal effect that all public schoolteachers in Washington are forced to contribute money to get her, and other Democrats, elected.

(Out of over $56K spent by the WEA through April 2008, over $48K of that was for helping get Democrats elected (either to candidates, parties, or another PAC), while an additional $1680 went to Republicans and $1600 to a nonpartisan state superintendent candidate.)

Technical Notes: I conceived, wrote, performed, recorded, and produced the song myself. All blame goes to me. See PudgeTunes for more information about my hardware and software setup, and for more music.